Funny Jamaican Translations

1. English : There seems to be something wrong with Ms. Pearl, she might have the flu.

   Patois : Lawd hav mercy! It look like dem obeah Ms. Pearl (Lord have mercy! It seems that they have cast a spell on Ms. Pearl)

2. English : Hi Suzie! It’s been a long time since I have seen you girl.

   Patois : But wait! Suzie? Gal yuh nuh dead yet? (But wait! Suzie? Girl, I thought you’d be dead by now)

3. English : He is not too bright.

   Patois : Geesas Christ! What a bwoy Dunce. (Jesus Christ! This boy is a dunce)

4. English : He has very large full eyes.

   Patois : Wat ah way di bwoy fayva patoo (This boy really resembles a patoo)

5. English : Kim, your acne is terrible

   Patois : Massah gad, pickney, yuh face bumpy-bumpy an fayva grayta eeh (Oh my god, child, your face is very bumpy and resembles a grater)

6. English : Sir, could you please refrain from throwing my luggage like that

   Patois : Aye buff teet bwoy, tap fling up-fling up mi bag dem suh man. (Hey buff teeth boy, stop throwing around my luggage like that)

7. English : I’m here waiting for a taxi but I don’t see any in sight

   Patois : Wulaan deh, no Robot naah run todeh? (Hold on a minute, isn’t there any illegal taxis running today?)

8. English : Oh Lord, we have lost electricity again.

   Patois : Lawd Gad, JPS lack off di current again . (oh lord, JPS has cut of the electricity again)

9. English : Aren’t those pants a bit short for you?

   Patois : Wah mek yuh throssis looks suh, yuh tek yuh measurment inna wata? (Why does your trousers look like that, Did you take your measurement in water?)

10. English : Please make some room on the bus so this man can have a seat.

    Patois : Skoolaz, small up unnu self man mek daddy cyaan siddung. (Schoolers, make some room so that grandpa can have a seat )